Defining coercive control is tricky. Hamberger et al. (2017) in a literature review identified 22 different ways of defining coercive control. In my research on coercive control I have learnt context is everything. For the purpose of this blog the definition of coercive control will stand as per Laura Richards' (PhD) description: "A strategic pattern of behaviour designed to exploit, control, create dependency and dominate".
Coercive control is a phrase and term often used when describing (mostly) non physical forms of abuse between a male and female in some sort of intimate relationship. However it is a concept that is not restricted only to male female relationships and can be found in a multitude of personal and even in the workplace (these people generally hold jobs!). Coercive control is often fraught with gaslighting, isolation, economic control and micro management of everyday behaviours.It is a gradual process that is confusing as the controlling behaviours tend to alternate with periods of love-bombing and charm. So how do you know you are experiencing this in the workplace? Truth is you may never know (especially if you are neurodivergent!), especially if you do not know what to look out for. I've experienced this once or twice over the course of my career of 20 years, and every time except the last I was only able to identify it after I left...much like what would be the case for a victim of any form of coercive control. What makes it worse is that this is not even an acknowledged industrial hazard as yet... the closest to it is workplace bullying and harassment &/ costructive dismissal.
What does this look like in the workplace?
Love-Bombing: Initially a manger may be all charm - they'll sing your praises and make you feel special. You'll be lauded for even the most minimal effort and at times compared to 'less productive staff' as a star. You may even become a confidante of sorts, a sounding board. This is designed to gain loyalty and send a message: 'cross me and you may lose my approval or worse'. The compliments become less over time, and often only before a request of some sort.
Isolation: In the workplace isolation can occur in several ways. A manager may neglect to introduce an employee to key staff, or may keep the employee out of the loop of important communication. They may act as the messenger which would mean they hold the power of communication between staff members. Workplace culture of isolation would include cliques that are obvious around lunch times , birthdays or other social events with no regard for the person(s) who are 'left out'. On days where there is provision and sharing of food, dietary requirements may be overlooked. Sometimes even HR loopholes may be used to perpetrate isolation in the workplace. This was particularly rife during COVID and with Vaccination Mandates. Excuses may be convenient and sound like "You only work part time", "We didn't think you'd be interested", "It was out of my hands - HR insisted/ Workplace H & S took over". Isolation can also look like being required to attend meetings to only walk into a meeting and find other participants such as HR, OHS or people irrelevant to the meeting, or to learn that it is a performance related meeting with no prior mention of this, not affording the employee to prepare mentally or otherwise for the scrutinising process that is to follow.
Humiliation & Gasligthing: This can be probably one of the most damning parts of coercive control as it messes with the victim's sense of reality. It can take the form of 'harmless jokes', criticisms or malice under the guise of care. I remember once being ambushed into a meeting where my professional opinion was being force to play in favour of a hidden agenda. I assertively refused to participate in this as it went against my professional ethics and excused myself. Later I learned that a 'meeting/discussions' took place without my knowledge and when I approached my manager about it I was told: "People are concerned about you, you have not been yourself for the past few months". The past few months were when the height of isolation and control had been exercised and I was starting to ask questions as my relationship with my employer was feeling DV-ish.
Physical Intimidation: This one is less prevalent in corporate spaces, however can still happen and involves a person invading your personal space or making you feel unsafe with their physical presence. When I talk of my time working in a prison people always remark on how unsafe I must have felt.. I then chuckle when I explain I felt safer with the prisoners than I did with a particular colleague and I fondly think back to the time said junior male colleague threw a prison belt at me, chains and keys in tact - luckily he did not have the strength to follow through on his throw or I may have been injured in the process!
Sexual Harrassment: Possibly the one most people have been educated on over the past decade. This can range from comments being made on staff (especially female staff) and how they look or dress to unwanted physical touch such as hugging, brushing past or touching you without prior warning or consent.
Abuse of Power: This one is perhaps one of the hardest. Being asked favours by the boss leaves us feeling needed and important, but it can also place us in an awkward situation. Imagine being asked by a supervisor to read through their university assignment to provide feedback and 'make adjustments as you see fit, because you are more skilled at this than me' or being told that you have to do X, Y & Z as a 'reasonable request' regardless of the time and effort or resources it would require from you.
With all these things surely workplace coercion is illegal right?! No. In fact it is not even acknowledged. Workplace bullying is a known concept with many grey areas. Physical assault/intimidation and Sexual harassment are the easiest ones to spot and act on whilst the others are much harder to identify and even harder to prove, especially without witnesses and these witnesses are not likely to step forward if there is a general culture of coercion.
At what cost? Workplace coercion takes a toll. It can affect an employee's physical and mental well-being. Sleep disorders, high blood pressure, heart conditions, depression, anxiety, and a loss of self-confidence can all lead to burnout and longer term mental health issues. Often the employee is managed out or leaves on less than good terms and at the risk of their professional reputation and in some instances this may even lead to self harm and suicide.
What you can do
Read company reviews if available - then ask the hard questions in an interview. If you don't get the job, maybe you dodged an necessary situation.
Familiarise yourself with company policies and procedures pertaining to harassment, bullying the reporting of these and the whistleblower policies. These are things you need to know and will also contain any steps you may need to take in order to have a case at some point.
Pay attention to rumours. The rumour mill can be rife in a workplace with a culture of coercive control. People are bound to talk about those who have been 'managed out' or left because it 'wasn't a good fit'. This is the time to ask yourself what is required to be a good fit? Were those people isolated before they felt they had no other option?
Ask yourself the though questions: Am I being isolated? Are my resources being exploited ? Am I feeling incompetent, insecure or on edge when I go to work? Does it feel like something is wrong?
Maintain boundaries - from day 1.
Speak to a counsellor who may help you develop effective communication strategies, problem solve or explore options.
Diarise and note EVERYTHING - in case you may need it.
And if you do work in a place where there is a culture like this, and you have not been affected... don't be a bystander. Reach out. Talk to the people who are being isolated and talked about. Don't be part of the problem, be part of the culture change. References: Hamberger, L.K., Larsen, S.E., Lehrner, A. (2017) Coercive control in intimate partner violence. Aggression and Violent Behaviour, 37. 1-11 What is coercive control ? https://www.thelaurarichards.com/resources/coercivecontrol#:~:text=Coercive%20control%20is%20a%20strategic,and%20controlled%20by%20the%20abuser.
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